Curious George
I was enjoying my usual assortment of odd and strange dreams when my sister woke me this morning with the sad news that comedian George Carlin had died. He had a history of heart-related illnesses, including a previous heart attack. He was 71 years old.
Lately, it seems that we are losing a lot of the "old timers." Actors of the golden era who shaped the motion picture industry. And it is sad. Will there ever be another Cyd Charisse? No. Will anyone rise to be the new Charlton Heston? Hopefully not! (Come on, Stephen Boyd acts circles around him in "Ben-Hur.") Even Heath Ledger (though not an "old timer") had something unique about him. Something that made him stand out.
That's what George was like. Unique. He was a thinking man's comedian. A social commentator. He loved words, language. He kept us honest, calling us on our collective bullshit. I mean, what does "preboard" really mean? You either board the plane or you don't. George saw through the bullshit of political correctness. He walked right up to the line of what was "acceptable" and happily jumped over it with that cheeky grin of his. He was a goof-ball. He was hard-hitting but always with a distinct panache. He once said that he had no pet peeves; he had major psychotic hatreds.
So, I'm not going to post video of him. Check them out for yourself. I am not going to tell you the story of his life. Here's a brief highlight: He did twenty HBO specials, he was the first person to host the first episode of "Saturday Night Live." His "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" broke ground and got him in a bit of trouble. He had a drug and alcohol problem but he spoke openly about them both.
No, I'm going to let Curious George speak for himself. Ladies and Gentlemen, the mind of the late, great George Carlin (1937-2008):
The Seven Words:
Shit - The bird shit on the statue.
Piss - I have to piss like a race horse.
Fuck - Fuck you.
Cunt - She has a rancid cunt.
Cocksucker - Go to hell, you cocksucker.
Motherfucker - You are a motherfucker.
Tits - Hey, nice tits.
Later ammended to include:
Fart - I farted.
Turd - Who dropped a turd in the urinal?
Twat - Shave that hairy twat.
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done"."
(On airport security)"Take a fucking chance! Put a little fun in your life! ... most Americans are soft and frightened and unimaginative and they don't realize there's such a thing as dangerous fun, and they certainly don't recognize a good show when they see one."
"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
And finally...
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Goodbye, George. You grumpy, old cocksucking fart. I love ya.
Post Script: According to the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, George was to be the 2008 honoree for the Mark Twain Prize for American humor.
Lately, it seems that we are losing a lot of the "old timers." Actors of the golden era who shaped the motion picture industry. And it is sad. Will there ever be another Cyd Charisse? No. Will anyone rise to be the new Charlton Heston? Hopefully not! (Come on, Stephen Boyd acts circles around him in "Ben-Hur.") Even Heath Ledger (though not an "old timer") had something unique about him. Something that made him stand out.
That's what George was like. Unique. He was a thinking man's comedian. A social commentator. He loved words, language. He kept us honest, calling us on our collective bullshit. I mean, what does "preboard" really mean? You either board the plane or you don't. George saw through the bullshit of political correctness. He walked right up to the line of what was "acceptable" and happily jumped over it with that cheeky grin of his. He was a goof-ball. He was hard-hitting but always with a distinct panache. He once said that he had no pet peeves; he had major psychotic hatreds.
So, I'm not going to post video of him. Check them out for yourself. I am not going to tell you the story of his life. Here's a brief highlight: He did twenty HBO specials, he was the first person to host the first episode of "Saturday Night Live." His "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" broke ground and got him in a bit of trouble. He had a drug and alcohol problem but he spoke openly about them both.
No, I'm going to let Curious George speak for himself. Ladies and Gentlemen, the mind of the late, great George Carlin (1937-2008):
The Seven Words:
Shit - The bird shit on the statue.
Piss - I have to piss like a race horse.
Fuck - Fuck you.
Cunt - She has a rancid cunt.
Cocksucker - Go to hell, you cocksucker.
Motherfucker - You are a motherfucker.
Tits - Hey, nice tits.
Later ammended to include:
Fart - I farted.
Turd - Who dropped a turd in the urinal?
Twat - Shave that hairy twat.
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of church and state. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood."
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done"."
(On airport security)"Take a fucking chance! Put a little fun in your life! ... most Americans are soft and frightened and unimaginative and they don't realize there's such a thing as dangerous fun, and they certainly don't recognize a good show when they see one."
"Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself."
And finally...
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
Goodbye, George. You grumpy, old cocksucking fart. I love ya.
Post Script: According to the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, George was to be the 2008 honoree for the Mark Twain Prize for American humor.
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